PRANK'd
by GerudoGirl89
Summary: Link and Dark are bored, so they decide to prank all their friends and enemies to achieve the title of "King of Prankdom!" And to think, this all started with two bored teens, a lost deck of cards, and no poker... R&R! First attempt at humor!
1. Chapter 1

**PRANK'd**

_**Seriously, folks, there's not very many reasons why I do things. And the reason behind this one is . . . well, there isn't one. I was SO bored during Math I wrote this down randomly. **__****__** I'm a little strange, aren't I? **_**Please, please, **_**please**_** review.**_**The only person who's actually reviewed my stuff besides Onion1122 and Minty is Seldavia, and I'm betting she's getting tired of reading and reviewing all my stuff.

* * *

**_

Link happily polished off the third muffin of the day. So far, life was pretty good. Uli's little girl, Sami, was growing well. Colin was a slow but sure swordsman. Malo's business prospered. Ilia had been killed 95 times, but, well, no one cares.

_Thunk! _Someone was knocking at his door. With a groan he stored his muffins away in the cabinet and opened the door. Beth stood there, an expectant look on her face.

"Morning, Link," she said enthusiastically. "Whatcha doing, huh?"

Link sighed as he looked at Beth. She wore a reddish-purple shirt, tan pants that puffed out slightly and stopped at her ankles, and a bright purple cloth belt. Her hair was pulled up in an elegant knot and sprinkled with tiny sparkles. Yeah, business was good when your mom and dad owned the only store in a thriving town.

"Eating muffins," said Link cautiously. "Why?"

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for Poker Night with your buddies?" she asked. "You said you were inviting your friends over for poker."

And suddenly, Link remembered. "Oh yeah," he said sheepishly. "True . . . ."

"Didn't you lose your cards to Ganondorf?" she inquired. Link winced.

"Oops . . . yeah. I forgot that. I never knew that guy was such a good player," he groaned. "What am I supposed to do?! Dark's coming over!"

Beth shrugged. An idea slowly came into Link's mind. "Wait . . . Beth, your parents own a store, right?" he asked.

The girl nodded. "Yes . . . ."

"Well, can you lend me a deck of cards?" he asked sweetly. Beth pondered.

"Sure," she said slowly, "but it'll cost you."

"Anything!"

"How about . . . a muffin?" Link groaned and stalked over to the cabinet, selecting one of his precious muffins. He handed it to the girl. She stared at it. "Can I have a chocolate chip one?" she asked.

Link scowled. "You drive a hard bargain. Those are my favorite!"

"Then no cards." Beth said nastily. Link groaned and did as he was told, selecting his biggest, tastiest choco-muffin and handed it to her.

And so, the great Hylian Hero make a brave sacrifice of his best muffins to the evil, tyrannical, 12+ year-old Beth. She grinned and sat down in his comfiest chair. "Now, how about you make me a cake?"**

* * *

  
One Hour Later:  
**

Dark whistled happily to himself, causally throwing a stone at a passing squirrel. It squeaked angrily and shot off into the trees. Dark was heading to Link's house to play poker, just the two of them. They'd become good friends, almost as close as brothers, especially when Dark won loads of cash off Link.

Dark was a tall, good-looking shadow, with black hair that gleamed with natural silver highlights, very pale skin, and bright, demonic red eyes. They were such a shade that sometimes, when visibility was poor, Dark was mistaken for Vaati, or vice-versa. His tunic was longer than Link's, and under it he wore silvery mail, a gray shirt, and black pants. The Shadow Sword hung at his waist. The hilt was black, decorated with blood red gems that matched his eyes. The strangely-colored blade looked like normal metal covered by a smoky, gray-black sheen. Dark was extremely proud of his Shadow Sword, and marveled hadn't lost it in a poker game yet.

He ascended the ladder to Link's modest house (_Why didn't Zelda pay him a cash prize for saving the world? _he often wondered. _Or does he use it all to pay debts?) _and banged on the door. "Link! Link! Get your butt out here!" he heard a shout from inside, so he barged in.

A little girl he recognized as Beth reclined in a new armchair Link just bought with his poker winnings, snatching muffins from the tray and eating them one by one. Link himself gave her a foot-rub.

"DARK! Thank Farore!" he leaped up, squeezing the shadow with all his strength. Dark looked openly shocked. _Has the Great Hero of Light and Twilight finally cracked?_

Beth yawned and stood up. "Sorry, Linky, no attention, no cards," she said loftily, and left the house.

"NO! Come back! Beth! BEEEETTTHH!!" it was too late. The girl was gone in a toss of her extra-sparkly hair. Link dropped to his knees, bitterly weeping. It was all very romantic, like a cheap, poorly written Beth X Link romance fan-fiction. Sad music began to play in the background. "I want those cards . . . ." he wailed. "Damn you Beth, why did you leave me?!"

"We have no cards?" demanded Dark. "Link, you idiot!" he glared at the Oocca sitting in the tree. It was the source of the tragic music. "Go away, you freaky chicken dude . . . girl . . . thingy!" he screamed. Miffed, the Oocca flew away, making sure to knock an acorn loose onto Dark's head.

"Let's find something else to do!" exclaimed Link suddenly, tears vanishing in an instant. He jumped up and ran into the village, boots padding on the soft ground.

_Oh Gods, this dude is so bipolar . . . . _with a silent groan Dark followed his Light counterpart into the village of Ordon.

* * *

**Several Boring Minutes Later:  
**

"Link?"

"Hmm?"

"I need to confess something."

"What is it, Dark?"

"I'M BORED!" he screamed. Link winced.

"Okay, okay, so there's nothing to do," he admitted. "Ordon is the most boring town I've ever been to. And I've lived here for what, sixteen years?!" he groaned again and tossed a rock into the water. They were sitting behind Jaggle and Pergie's house with nothing to do except glare at the river.

"I hear that." Dark threw a small stone with all his strength. It hit . . . that dude who's married to Sera, who stood on top of that weird rock thingy. He yelled in pain and fell over, hitting the water with a _sploosh!_

Both Link and Dark laughed uproariously. "That was so damn _fun_!" exclaimed Link between gulps of air. Hell, it wasn't that funny, but at least it broke the monotony.

"You know what, I think I want to do it again," said Dark mischievously. He hurled a second rock at Rusl, making him drop the bottles of milk he'd just bought from Sera. Sera's cat dashed out of nowhere and began to carefully lick it up. He was oblivious to Rusl's screams and curses. Sera galloped from her shop to see what the hubbub was all about. Rusl yelled at her about her cat.

Sera grew very red in the face. "Shut up about my cat!" she shouted, and pushed Rusl into the water, close to where her husband tried to dry himself off. They argued and fought, and in the confusion, no one saw Link and Dark slip away, barely able to hold in their laughter.

"Oh, Farore, I _love _this," said Dark evilly. "Let's find someone else to prank!"

Link, who had been laughing his butt off up to this point, suddenly stood up straight, eyes filled with a determination that sparkled deep in his eyes. "From this day forward," he said solemnly, "I, Link Ordona, will uphold my mission. I will no longer just be the Hero of Twilight and Light, but one of the Kings of Prankdom, bringing fun to myself and my comrade, and delivering humiliation to the common folk!"

Dark jumped up next to him, planting hands on his hips in a heroic pose. Dramatic music began to play in the background, and an almost holy light began to shine on them both. "And I, Dark . . . umm . . . Shadows? Yeah, let's go with Shadows . . . Anyway, I will uphold my mission! I will no longer be . . . um . . . the dude that kicks Link's butt at poker—"

"Hey!"

"But one of the Kings of Prankdom, bringing fun to myself and my comrade, and delivering humiliation to the common folk!"  
"So help me Goddesses!"

"So help me Goddesses!" repeated Dark triumphantly. "Oy! Chicken dude! I told you to get lost!"

The Oocca, perched on the rock next to them, looked angry. "I thought you might want dramatic music and lights!" he/she/it waved a wing at his/her/its friends to cut the lights and music. The disappointed Oocca left with their special effects equipment.

_**

* * *

Umm . . . err . . . I dunno. Just, um, yeah, review or something. I NEED to know if this is actually funny at all so I can continue. And if anyone gets the joke with Dark's name, I'll give them a cookie and a role in the story! If they want, anyway.  
**_**Dark Link: Review!! I'll give you a hug!  
Link: Or I will!  
Ilia: Or me!**

_**P.S. I'm not really an Ilia hater, I just wanted to bring Midnight Crystal Sage's story into this briefly because I like it. :) It reminds me of "60 Ways to Kill Rothion" by AngelEyes87. Yup, I'm a SC fan too.**_

P.P.S: In your review, include at least one thing you liked, one you didn't. Those are the best reviews, so I can figure out what I'm doing right and wrong. Or, if you want, do a normal review. Either way, I'm happy with a review!


	2. Nabooru

**Chapter 2: Nabooru**

_**Hello all, welcome back to **_**PRANK'd. **_**Sorry for the LOOONG delay, I have a lot of homework to get thru. And, since Memorial Day, I stopped writing altogether the weekend. I haven't had the heart. But that's not the point. This is my new chapter, enjoy it while it lasts.  
**_**Majora: GerudoGirl owns this story. DEAL WITH IT!**

* * *

Dark and Link met in Link's house the next day, full of triumphant mischief. Before Dark left the day before, Link asked him to write a list of people to prank. The eager shadow promptly went home to plot and cackle in revenge.

"Do you have a list of people you want to prank?" asked Link eagerly the next day. Dark nodded, grinning, and let his bundle of paper go. It dropped to the floor and rolled all the way outside, down the ladder, and came to a rest at the entry gate to Ordon Village.

Link had an O.o expression. "Okay . . . who's on your list?"

"Well, there's Ruto, Anju, Kafei, Vaati, Ganondorf, Darunia, Volvagia,Rauru, that crazy dancer dude . . . um, the one that looks like Elvis, Tingle, Medli, Makar . . ."

"Wait, how do you know about them?" Link interrupted. "They exist in a 200-year-in-the-future alternate timeline!"

Dark sighed patiently, with the air of one confronting a very slow toddler. "Link, my friend, it's called a freaking plot hole. Now shut up. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Makar, Purlo, Agitha, that dude that stands outside her castle, Ilia, Beth, Colin, Bo, Renado, Luda, Vaati, Veran, Vaati, Vaati, Ganondorf, Vaati, Zant, Onox, Vaati . . ."

"Why do you hate Vaati so much?" inquired Link. Dark's face . . . darkened.

_Flash  
__"Hi, Dark," said Vaati enthusiastically. "Oh, is that a sandwich? Can I have it?" without waiting for an answer, he snatched it from Dark's hand. "Thanks!" he said, running off with the sandwich. He distinctly saw Vaati take a hearty bite with his vampire fangs._

_"Hey! Get back here! That cost me fifteen dollars!"_

Link had an extreme O.o expression on his face. "Okay, that's stupid . . ." he said frankly.

"_What was that_?!" Dark's eyes glowed red, his sword began to hum evilly. Actually, it was humming Mario's theme song. Dark glared at it. It squeaked, leaped out of its sheath, and began to scramble away.

"Never mind," squeaked Link. "But you lost your sword."

"It'll come back," replied Dark dismissively, waving his hand. He took a sandwich from his pocket and bit into it. "Mmm . . . ."

"Hi, Dark!" He choked on the bit of cheese. Nabooru dashed into the room, beaming. "So nice to see you again. Hey, is that a sandwich?!" without asking, she plucked it from his hands and took a bite. "Thanks!" she said cheerfully, and ran away.

Dark's face went darker, his eyes glowed, and his silvery-black hair began to gleam. The sword eagerly slipped back into his hand, ready to kill. "That. Does. It," he said coldly. "That is the LAST time someone does that to me!" he lifted his head and howled,  
"I WILL AVENGE MY SANDWICH!"

He rushed from the room, chanting, "Prank Nabooru!" and screeching war cries. Link was left alone in the room, eyes nearly popping out of his head, with only one thought in his mind.

"What the hell, Dark? It was just a sandwich . . . ."

* * *

**Later:**

"So, let me get this straight. We have to cross into another reality and deal with _their _Ganondorf, cross a wasteland, and scale a giant woman with one hell of a figure, just to prank _their _Nabooru, who _somehow _managed to come here to steal my sandwich?"

Link sighed. "It's called a _plot hole_, Darkie," he mocked. "And yes. So shut up, and stop making run-on sentences. Microsoft Word is yelling at the author!"

Dark frowned. "What the hell? Some cracked authoress is putting us through this torture?"

And suddenly, the flawless, beautiful (yeah right) authoress typed in a holy command, and Dark wore a bright pink skirt and white tank top, arms becoming thin and white like a woman's. The only problem was, he was still a man, through and through.

"What the hell, authoress?!" he screamed to the air.

**FINE! **And in a puff black smoke, his arms and clothes were back to normal. In addition, the authoress promised not to interfere, but write things as they actually happened.

Link sighed. "Anyway, we're here." The Desert Fortress stood there in all its un-advanced, rather pitiable glory. Sandstone walls supported the rough but effective buildings, where hundreds of beautiful redheads patrolled, leaving not much to the imagination with their skimpy clothing. Link looked over at Dark. The shadow now sported a blank look, eyes glazed, a faint trail of drool issued from his mouth at the sight of all the women. "Dark!"

"Hot . . . chicks . . ." he said, whistling. "Damn. Link, can I keep one?"

He looked away, disgusted. "They're human, not puppies, Dark. Come on." He marched purposefully up to the gates. It took him a few moments to realize he was alone. "DARK!"

The shadow ignored him, instead choosing to flirt with an especially pretty girl who stood beside the Fortress entrance. She wore a long, heavy reddish skirt and white, off-the-shoulder ruffled blouse.

"So, you're a thief, huh?" asked Dark smoothly. She smiled charmingly. "I like girls that don't stay on the right side of the law . . . ."

"**DARK!**" he flinched. This time, the menacing voice wasn't Link's. It was Ganondorf's. He glared venomously at the shadow. "I don't care what world you're from, learn boundaries!"

Dark scowled. "Shut up. I'm busy." He turned his attention back to the girl.

"Are you _flirting _with her?" the Gerudo male demanded.

"Yeah, I am," Dark growled. "So get lost."

"It is fine," the girl said quickly, noting the deadly look on Ganondorf's face. He scowled and turned away, muttering about idiotic creations and anti-heroes. Thankfully, no one paid any attention to him.

"Wow, that dude needs a chill-pill," Dark remarked, running a hand over his hair. "Nearly gutted me with that monster sword . . . ."

She smiled icily. "My father is overprotective, yes?" she inquired. Dark grinned.

"Yeah, he— WHAAAAT?! FATHER?!" the shadow shrieked, "MOTHER FARORE!"

"What is the matter, Dark?" the girl asked innocently, barely concealing a smirk. "So what if I am the only child of a Gerudo King? I am only a Gerudo. A well-liked Gerudo with an extremely protective father that is a foot taller than you are and stronger than you will ever hope to be."

Poor Dark started to hyperventilate. Her words scared him senseless, even worse than before. _Mother Goddess, _he thought wildly,_ I was HITTING on Ganondorf's KID! _Then he stopped. _Wait, she's pretty good-looking to have him as a father . . . I wonder what her mother looks like . . .?_

Link grabbed his counterpart's collar. "Perverted thoughts later," he said firmly. "Sorry to bother you, Miss . . .?"

She smiled serenely. "Arina."

"Ah. Let's go, Darkie!" he hauled the gibbering shadow away.

"Father, Ganondorf, Gerudo, hottie, chick, GANONDORF?!"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up. Let's go."

_

* * *

_

**_Much Later:  
_**

Finally, after wandering through the desert, nearly being killed by ReDeads, and a slight misunderstanding with the Spirit Guide (Dark tried to hit on him, evidently not knowing he wasn't a veiled Sand Goddess sent to help them) they reached the Desert Fortress. Link smirked evilly. "Got the supplies?"

Dark nodded and dumped his sack on the ground. Inside was a large bundle of armor and about a gallon of superglue. "This'll be fun," he cackled. Link nodded and showed him the way to Nabooru's private chambers . . . .

* * *

Nabooru snored delicately, fast asleep on an enormous pile of cushions in the Sand Goddess Temple. Dark Link's sandwich sure was good, she thought in her dreams. Gotta thank him tomorrow . . . maybe steal another sandwich . . . .

BAM! She jumped to attention, blankets falling haphazardly around her. As she did so, she accidentally banged her head on the low ceiling. "Ouch!" She rubbed her eyes. "Damn authoress . . . ."

Nabooru looked around. Except for her plushie collection in one corner (a plushie of everybody she knew), the room was empty. "Hello?" she yelled to thin air. "Ganondorf, if this is you, you're acting so like a little brother. I don't care if you're the older one, you're such a . . . never mind." Cautiously, she slipped on her sword belt and opened the door.

"OH MOTHER DIN!" she backed up to avoid a battle-axe to the skull. An eight-foot-tall, armor-wearing monster, known as an Iron Knuckle, stood in the doorway. With a growl, it barged thoughtlessly into the room. "You want my plushies, don't you?!" she yelled. "Well, you won't get them! My Gibdo maybe just be a skinnier ReDead plushie with toilet paper wrapped around it, but it's awesome!"

The Iron Knuckle roared angrily and chopped at the flagstones with its axe. Nabooru squeaked in fear, and heard the metal creak. The axe was about to descend again. Nabooru jumped away from the blade, which cut her Vaati plushie in two. "Noo! Vaati!" she dove to avoid a horizontal chop from the monster. "PLUSHIES! Protect the plushies!" just before it was cut in two, Nabooru rescued the Metroid stuffed toy from certain death, then rolled aside to avoid her own death.

_I gotta kill this thing!_ she thought wildly, diving around the Knuckle. She watched it carefully. _Why is it moving like that?_ she wondered. Indeed, it moved erratically, sometimes having difficulty progressing across the room. The axe blows were weak. Several times, the axe dropped limply to the ground instead of lopping off her head.

Angered, she drew her swords. "I'll teach you to mess with the Plushie Master!" and bounded into the fight. She slashed at the Knuckle's metal armor ten times before it had chance to move. The only problem was, instead of the grating noises and the ring of metal on metal, she heard a Squeak!

She looked down at her swords. "WHAT?!" They were fake! Instead of blades, rubber Cucoos were glued to fake, plastic hilts, sporting a comically melancholy look. They flapped pointlessly in response to their beating. Even the Iron Knuckle looked like it was laughing at her. It had already lost interest in the battle axe, anyway.

Nabooru, on the other hand, wasn't amused. "Who messed with my swords?!" she screamed furiously. "Ganondorf?! Is it you?! Well, I'm about to DIE because of it!"

The Iron Knuckle paused, and Nabooru waited fearfully, clutching her Sonic plushie close to her heart. It raised the axe, thought better of it, and placed the axe on the stone floor. Suddenly, the helmet of the Iron Knuckle popped off. Two hooded stuck their heads out the neck hole. They cackled evilly, tossed Nabooru's swords back, and clunked awkwardly away in the armor.

O.o . . .

"What the HECK?!" Fuming, she picked up her swords, tossed the fake ones in the corner (narrowly missing her Luneth plushie), and stuffed them back in their respective sheaths.

A tiny card stuck to one hilt, so Nabooru impatiently ripped it off and read:

_Dear poor, pathetic person,  
You have been PRANK'd by the Masters of Prankdom! While we laugh at your expense, you cry and yell in frustration. However, we think our fun is more important that you are.  
You'll never find us, you'll never identify us. We are ANON!  
Sincerely, Dark and Link  
P.S. **That's for taking my sandwich!**_

Nabooru scowled. "Dark and Link, eh? Jeez, Link's so stupid; he wrote this on the back of a map that leads straight to his house!"

And, so saying, she lovingly rearranged her plushies and repaired Vaati with her awesome Sage powers, pledging revenge upon the two morons that currently sat outside the Spirit Temple, laughing their heads off.

_

* * *

__**Hey, dudes, it wasn't too funny, but . . . I'm new to humor, forgive me. Also, I haven't had a good few days; Memorial Day always brings me down. I listened to The Ghost of You on the same day, made me cry a LOT. So, umm . . . yeah, special thanks to GrayFireStorm, Onion 1122, LittleMissEvil, sakurahanaalice, Tiger-Samba, Lavender-meets-Seagreen, The-Saiyan-From-Hyrule, and IUH-Byakaringan. You guys all ROCK! :) :) :)  
****Majora: Quit trying to increase the word count and close the blasted chapter. Bye folks! Be sure to review!**_


End file.
